It is so important for people to get counseling during a divorce. As a lawyer, I am well versed on the legal issues, but I am not a mental health professional. If clients can get support and counseling, it makes the process easier and usually more cost effective because they are prepared for the changes and challenges of the divorce process.
That being said, if you are going through a divorce I would highly recommend using The Helen Gordon Davis Centre for Women, Inc. as a resource through your divorce.
The Counseling and Wellness program at The Centre for Women is able to offer affordable counseling to women, men, couples, teens and children. Our counselors are Masters prepared, licensed therapists with many years of experience. We are able to counsel clients in a variety of welcoming office locations and can accommodate flexible appointment times. They also offer counseling in Spanish. To inquire, please them call 813-571-1684.
Additionally, they offer monthly women’s support groups and are currently focusing on topics related to divorce. The daytime and evening groups occur at their Hyde Park location and are free of charge.
Title: Florida Family Law Involving Active Duty, Reserve and Veteran Military Personnel and Spouses
Speakers: Donald DeCort, Kristin Kirkner, Judge Christopher C. Nash
CLE Credits: 2.0
When: Thursday, April 28, 12 – 2 p.m.
Where: Chester H. Ferguson Law Center
Cost: $40 for members, $70 for non-members, $30 for government, student and affiliate members.
Click here to register.
If you’ve never been through a divorce, this article touches on a few things that you may least anticipate when it comes to divorce.
As a divorce attorney in Tampa, I have witnessed the financial and emotional toll that litigation can take on a person. One of the items this article touches on is the toxicity of divorce court, and the author isn’t exaggerating. While the author is not suggesting unhappy couples stay married simply to avoid divorce court, I do advise my clients of alternatives such as mediation or collaborative practice that can save both parties money, time and emotional turmoil. In any case, if you’re preparing to file for divorce you may find this article informative so you know what could lay ahead of you in this process.
Original Article from www.scarymommy.com | By: Alison Jacobson for Divorced Moms
4 Things to Know Before You File For Divorce
Let’s be real, divorce sucks. It’s a lot like childbirth, and if someone told you what it would be like, you might not ever do it. But then you’d regret it for the rest of your life. Sure, there are a few of those amicable divorces and the “conscious uncouplings,” but they are few and far between.
I was divorced in 2010. I asked for a divorce in 2008, but it took two years actually to get it done. And don’t think it’s because we were arguing over some tremendous fortune. Quite the opposite, we were arguing over tremendous debt.
It was ridiculous and took an emotional and physical toll on me. No one in my family had ever gotten a divorce, and my only friend who had divorced did it when she was in her early 20s, and there were no kids involved. I was in unchartered territory. While I never expected it to be easy, I had no idea of some of the issues I would face.
Below are a few other things that no one ever told me that I wish I had known before I filed for divorce:
1. Divorce court is a horrible, toxic place.
The greatest piece of advice I give to people is that at all costs, avoid going to divorce court. You’ll end up spending money that you could have saved for retirement or your kid’s college fund. On top of that, a courtroom is one of the worst places I can imagine. It’s kind of like a zombie apocalypse.
Seriously, I was in court about 48 days over the course of two years. I was on a first-name basis with the bailiffs. I witnessed the ugliest sides of people coming in and out of various legal cases. I would literally come home and take two showers after being there because I felt dirty. If you’re thinking of getting a divorce, visit a courthouse and see what it’s like. You need to steel yourself to the toxic environment.
2. The friends you’d least expect to abandon you, will.
You can assume you will lose some friends, but amazingly it’s sometimes the people you’d least expect. It’s hurtful beyond belief, and you’ll spend years agonizing over what happened. Ultimately, you need to accept that you might never understand why a friendship ended, but cherish the relationship you once had and lovingly let it go.
3. If you have kids, you’ll never be truly divorced.
The reality is that you’re going to have to deal with your ex forever. You will see him at every visitation pickup and drop-off. You will have to negotiate medical issues, school issues, and anything involving your underaged children.
As they grow up, you’re going to be at graduations, at weddings, and eventually interacting with grandkids. It will be a lot less stressful for you and your kids if you find a way to make peace. I’m fortunate that my husband and his ex-wife are good friends. In fact, we’ve had dinners together, and she’s taken my daughters shopping with her and my stepdaughter.
4. Material possessions become way less important.
Pre-divorce you’re worried about your kids having to move out of the house they’ve lived in and not being able to afford summer camp. You might be used to having a housekeeper, getting weekly manicures, and going on shopping sprees.
Then, you find yourself wrapped up with divorce attorneys, and your money gets wiped out. Suddenly you realize that none of the stuff being fought over matters as much as you and your kids’ happiness. I ended up declaring bankruptcy after my divorce. It was devastating.
If you are considering divorce in Tampa, FL and are looking for an expert in family and marital law, please contact Kirkner Family Law Group, P.A. to set up your consultation, (813) 254-0156.
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For children coming from divorced families or soon to be divorced families it is important to give your child or children structure. Making a holiday schedule in advance will provide structure and set the expectation for the holiday season. In my experience, there tends to be turmoil and challenging situations when there is a lack of planning surrounding the holidays and how time with the children is to be allotted.
I recently came across this article with suggestions on how to spit up the holiday schedule and thought it might be useful for divorced parents, or people currently going through a divorce and think it could be helpful.
Holiday Season Approaching — What Divorcing Parents Need to Prepare for
It is that time of year again where we have a number of family traditions approaching.
We are coming up to Thanksgiving followed by the holiday season.
For families who are divorced or in the process of getting a divorce, it can be overwhelming trying to figure out what to do having two different households involved. The best thing to do is plan now, rather than leaving it to the last minute. This way everybody involved will have a plan so the children will know exactly where they’re going, when they are going and who with.
The great thing about this time of year is that there are two different holidays approaching so the children get to spend time with each parent sharing different and/or similar traditions. Here are a few tips for planning your upcoming holidays:
• Grab a cup of coffee with your ex. Sit down and plan out what’s going to happen over Thanksgiving and this coming holiday season
• Talk to the extended family and see who is going to be in town or who is going to be having the family visit during the holidays so you can consider their plans as well
• Ensure that you both consider who had the children last Thanksgiving and holiday season so that this year you can rotate if at all possible
For the Christmas / holiday season, there are a few different ways of splitting it up and here a just a few suggestion:
• Option #1: One parent cares for the children from the last day of school until the 26th and the other parent gets the children from the 26th to when they go back to school. In this way one parent gets Christmas and the holidays around that and the other parent get New Year’s Eve. Then next year you can rotate so that every second year you either have Christmas time or after Christmas time, which would give you enough time to usually travel and enjoy the New Year’s Eve together
• Option #2: Share holidays around Christmas for example the 24th, 25th and 26th. Therefore, one parent cares for the kids Christmas eve and until noon on Christmas day and then exchange so the other parent can care for the children on the afternoon of Christmas day and Boxing day. With young children having them on the actual holiday celebration can be important to the parents and this way each parents has that opportunity.
• Option #3: Split the holiday season into three segments such as the first part of the holiday with one parent, split the Christmas days like in option #2 and then the other parent for the remainder of the holiday season.
Regardless of which option you choose, having it set out in advance will save a ton of stress and last minute planning.
Kirkner Family Law Group – Family Law Experts
Kirkner Family Law Group, P.A. is a leading family law provider in Tampa, Florida. We are Peer Review Rated for Ethical Standards and Legal Ability by Martindale-Hubbell and have been providing exemplary marital and family law services since 2004. We specialize in divorce, military divorce, child support, child custody, qualified domestic relations orders, pre-nuptial agreements, paternity, step-parent adoptions and enforcement of parenting time.
If you are interested in a consultation please fill out the form below and our office will be in touch with you shortly to schedule.
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Shared parenting can be difficult without an effective Timesharing Schedule.
Timesharing schedules, or more commonly called child custody schedules, can be challenging and time consuming to develop. The schedule and exchanges must consider the communication between the parents, as well as the work schedules of each parent and the child’s school and extracurricular activities. When I work with clients to develop a timesharing schedule, it sometimes helps to have examples of what other families have done so that we can use that as a starting point to develop a specific timesharing schedule to meet the needs of each individual client and their family. I found the following article to be very thorough and it gives a great summation of each of the various options for timesharing.
What kind of custody schedule works best for a shared parenting plan? Well, the best custody schedule is one that will give both parents sufficient time to continue to nurture and develop their relationship with the child. There are many schedules that parents can choose that will allow them to do this, so a mother and father need to assess their situation and think about what will work for them and the child. Here are somesample child custody schedules that parents use in their shared parenting plans. You can choose any of these schedules for your plan, or you can modify and adapt them to meet your needs.
The Basic Weekend Schedule
For a shared parenting plan, most parents don’t think that the common weekend schedule (where one parent has the children every weekend or every other weekend) will work. However, many parents find that they can modify a weekend schedule so that the parent has additional time. Weekend schedules work well for children who are very involved in school during the week and when the parents don’t live very close to each other.
A common variation on the weekend schedule is to add evening or overnight visits during the week. So, a parent may have the children every other weekend, but also has an overnight visit every Wednesday. Or the parent has the children every weekend along with two evening visits during the week. Parents can add visits and time as it works for both parents and the children.
Another variation on the weekend schedule is to extend the weekends. This depends on the work and school schedules involved, but the weekend could start on Thursday evening or extend until Monday evening. This gives the parent more time.
The 2/2/5/5 or 3/3/4/4 Schedule
2-2-5-5 Custody Schedule
Many parents who want equal time with the children find that splitting the weeks in half work well. Common custody schedules for this arrangement are the 2/2/5/5 and 3/3/4/4 schedule. In these schedules, Parent A has the children for two or three days, Parent B has the children for two or three days, Parent A has the children for five or four days, and Parent B has the children for five or four days. Then the cycle repeats. This schedule ends up consistently splitting the week in half–as you can see in the picture.
A common schedule for a shared parenting plan is when parents alternate weeks of custody. A mother and father can also adjust this schedule to meet their needs by adding evening and weekend visits to the parent who doesn’t have custody that week.
When children have a rigid school schedule, or when parents do not live close to each other, they may need to be creative about how the parent will still have contact with the children. Parents can choose to have one custody schedule during the school year and then change it during vacations or school breaks to give the other parent more time. Parents can also have contact with the children through webcams, telephone, texting, email, instant messaging, etc.
Should you need assistance with a shared parenting Child Custody Schedule please call our office today. (813) 254-0156 or fill out the form below.
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